Once-ler walked by in the hallway of his growing factory. Still thinking of what The Lorax had said to him, 'Bad? I am not bad ' he thought to himself.
"Psst." Someone made the noise beside him. He turned but there was no one there except the reflection in the mirror. He checked his hair from under his fedora, then he saw his green gardening gloves change into long gloves that went up to his forearm. He looked down at his arms and he saw his same gloves he always wears, he started to freak out. He looked back into the mirror and saw himself but he was in a green suit that he only dreamed of wearing. The man was a few inches taller and had an evil grin covering his face. "Do you know who I am Oncie?" He asked.
"No-no not exactly " Once-ler fought back the scream and the assumption that he's gone crazy.
"Guess." The illusion purred.
"You're me aren't you?"
"Well, fancy that you're not as stupid as you look my twin." He casually leaned against the side of the mirror frame, looking out the window behind him. Once-ler looked to and saw a deep purple sky with a black pond; the sun had set on a valley of tree stumps. He turned to look out the real window and saw the bright blue sky with the sun shining blindingly down on full grown Truffula trees.
"How ?" He began to ask.
"Picture this, no more little Melvin hauling your ass around, no! Now you got a black sleek Mustang, red Ferrari and get this, a green Lamborghini! Green's a nice color; anyways you're like a gazillion! Girls' lined up for miles wanting to take a ride on your disco stick. Trust me, you don't have time for each and every one of them but you got time for at least five a day." He winked at me.
"Right thanks for the offer but uh " He felt seriously stupid for talking to a mirror 'What if Lorax walks by right now and see me talking to myself? He'll think I'm a total loon!' he thought.
"Uh, what, don't you want that?"
"Yeah I guess but what about the windows? Why are they different?"
"Well now how do you expect to make Thneeds and get rich if you don't chop down a few trees?" Once-ler gasped and covered his mouth; he promised Lorax that he would never chop down another tree ever again.
"You're a bad person!" He blurted out suddenly.
"Oh please! What's going to happen?" He lit a cigar took a long drag on it and blew the smoke out of the mirror and into Once-ler's face; he coughed and waved it away.
"You know that's bad for you "
"Hey you'll be doing it, sooner or later. Sooner I'm hoping!" He laughed.
"It'll NEVER happen!" Once-ler turned his back on the man in the mirror. He was disgusted by him and didn't want to ever see him again. He felt someone tap his shoulder. He turned slowly and saw that the man had stepped out of the mirror, he was eyeing him evilly.
"Also that annoying twerp called Lorax he's not going to bother you anymore, other than a few complaints here and there. Just nail a complaint box on a tree you haven't chopped yet, it'll clear things up." He smiled and took a drag on his cigar and dumped ashes onto the carpet.
"What are you talking about?" Once-ler said backing up to get a little distance between him and the man.
"Let me show you." He stuck his cigar in his mouth and reached for Once-ler. He turned and started running down the hall but he was caught by the arm and dragged back.
"Let me go!" He kicked at his knees and spit at him.
"Shut up you dumbass!" He smacked him on his head and started dragging him to the mirror.
"Did I ever tell you my name?"
"No!" Once-ler growled trying to bite the hands that held his shoulders.
"Well its Greed-ler, pleased to meet you. Why don't you take a visit in to my world?!" With those words and a great shove Once-ler toppled over and fell into the mirror.
"Help! Help! Get me out of here!" He banged on the mirror but it wasn't glass anymore, it was a strong plastic. He thumped his fists on it but nothing seemed to work and his hands started to ache.
"Well buddy I'm off to live your life hope you have fun in mine." Greed-ler said and he threw the butt of his cigar out the window and walked away.
Hmmm... it's an interesting concept, I must say. Most Once-ler and Greedler fanfictions are either A) Oncest (I have mixed feelings with that) or B) simply just the Once-ler feeling remorse for being the Greedler and then going back to "normal Once-ler", just with, well, regret. So props to you for originality!
The only problem I might have with this is that some of the writing (SOME, I have to emphasize that) seems to have a lack of flow. Other than that, you kept me interested, you played both parts of the Once-ler and the Greedler well, and again, the originality of the plot helps to emphasize the interest and capture the reader. So I'm interested in seeing more. Great start!
Thank you! Yeah i'm not that great at writing...but i'm trying my hardest I shall work on it more, I just didn't want to because, if no one liked it then why would I continue? So thank you! I'll work harder with my writing, this is the first fan fiction I've ever done.
Well, you have one fan at least, although I'm sure there are some others. It's fine, I mean, about two years ago I wrote my first fanfiction, and it was just... awful. Just plain awful. But as I progressed, I got better, and you'll get better, too. However, for someone who's never written one before, you're pretty damn good at it!
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More